The Way Journalism Died - Ralph Cissne

RALPH CISSNE

I posted this parody, referencing Don McLean’s classic song, on Facebook a few weeks ago. The tune and first line were stuck reverberating in my mind until I woke up at 2 a.m. one morning compelled to write the rest. Journalism, like science and stand-up comedy, involves healthy skepticism and the rigorous questioning of authority. Let’s pray we get back on track soon and embrace comedy and freedom of thought as healing forces in the universe.

Oh, bye bye media pangolin pie

Followed the news pawns to Wuhan but the wet market turned dry

And orthodox reporters spread such venomous lies

Singing, “This will be the way that journalism died

This will be the way that it died.”

 

Viral lockdowns made us shiver

With every groupthink falsehood they delivered

Governors sentenced the sick to nursing homes

Mandated that our loved ones die alone

I can’t remember how much I cried

When faceless censors shoved all dissent aside

Bureaucrats all masked up and safe inside

The way that journalism died

 

Who provided funding for gain of function?

Batshit crazy research a lethal conjunction

While politicians line their pockets with cash

Middle class was forced to hoard their stash

Overlords take marching cues from Marx

Dogmatic zealots plotting in the dark

Rally addicts sleeping in the park

The way that journalism died

 

For years we’ve been on our own

Lady Liberty cowered before the media throne

But that’s not how it used to be?

The jesters always sing for the king and queen

Tailored wardrobe obscures everything obscene

Their voices trained to seduce you and me

 

In our schools the children screamed

Loved ones cried, cancel culture schemed

But all the investigations turned out token

Like fake newscasts they were broken

The turning point is here to stay

Let truth, justice and the American way

Echo from coast to coast this Memorial Day

To honor all who serve the cause of freedom

 

Bye bye media pangolin pie

Followed the news pawns to Wuhan but the wet market turned dry

And orthodox reporters spread such venomous lies

Singing, “This will be the way that journalism died

This will be the way that it died.”